EMOTION MANAGEMENT FOR PERSONAL AND ORGANISATIONAL SUCCESS
As a corps member, we had a job creation seminar which was made compulsory. That particular seminar which many considered uncalled for and seemingly boring, suddenly had a spark and became vehemently an interesting seminar. Why? you may want to ask. A particular topic came on board; I.Q vs. E.Q
IQ is Intelligent Quotient, while
EQ is Emotional Quotient
Then someone asked, why very intelligent students do not always transfer such feat in personal lives, organisations or other areas of life. This question bothered many people.
Some of the attendants were quick to point out that most wealthy men never went to school, while others that performed poorly at school appear to be very successful when it comes to wealth creation.
This simply appear that there are other factors that are responsible for success other than intelligence!
That thin line between SUCCESS and FAILURE is what is referred to as EMOTION!
Emotion was adapted from the French word émouvoir, which means "to stir up". The term emotion was introduced into academic discussion to replace passion. There are 1001 definition of emotion. But whatever your definition is, let me simply make it straight. Emotion is a strong feeling of any kind which possibly influences human actions. EMOTION AND IT'S EXPRESSION IS GERMANE FOR SUCCES AND FAILURE IN LIFE!
Emotion is in everyday speech - In an organisation, the way you talk to your subordinates, that reaction on your face when you talk back at your boss/leader, your customer-relation approach (the way and manner you receive your customers). In family setting, the way and manner you talk to your parents, older and younger siblings. In socio-interactive settings, the way you talk to your friends, your partner, strangers you meet on your way, manner to which you talk to your neighbours, all these are encrypted in that 7 letter words - EMOTION! Emotion is often intertwined with mood, temperament, personality, disposition, and motivation.
Emotions are complex. According to some theories, they are a state of feeling that results in physical and psychological changes that influences our behavior. Extroverted people are more likely to be social and express their emotions, while introverted people are more likely to be socially withdrawn and conceal their emotions. Emotion is often the driving force behind motivation, positive or negative.
Emotions also determine job performance which reflects attitude one holds towards the job at hand.
For instance, when one is happy about one's job, performance tends to improve. Which will result in willingness to take up challenges, ability to surmount difficulties, and willingness to assist others to realise their goals and discover their potentials.
What many people don't know about companies, firms and organisations of today is that they target that which is emotional intelligence
NOTE: One's emotional expressions determine how one relates with other people in the family, organisation and other aspect.
The situation would be different when one is sad, afraid or angry towards one's job. These would in turn hampers one's performance towards the job.
Therefore, it would be wise, if one desires success, to understand, and of course learn how to manage one's emotions.
How would you understand your emotions?
There are four basic groups emotion can be classified. It's just like primary colours from which other colors emerges. Viz; Happiness, Sadness, Fear, and Anger.
All other emotional expressions distinctively fit into the aforementioned groups. Some of these other variant emotions could either be excess (high), moderate (normal) , or low expression.
Any of the basic emotions manifest itself in form of feelings. These feelings over the time become established attitude and form basis for behaviour. It signifies certain occurrences in the body which may be the learned behaviour. One that want to understand emotion would learn to identify the occurrences in the body that are associated with whatever emotions.
Your emotions are crucial to your ability to adapt to the challenges of your daily life. When you feel good, you're able to shrug off even the most burdensome tasks, but when you're miserable, you view even an enjoyable activity with a sense of gloom and doom! Emotions also affect our relationships with others. If a friend tells you a tragic story and you react by snickering instead of looking sad or concerned, you'll seem rude and insensitive.
If you need something more convincing about the role of emotions in our ability to succeed or fail in facing life's challenges, think about some of the famous people whose careers have been undone by the improper show of their feelings. In the primary run up to the 2004 presidential election, Howard Dean's candidacy ended virtually overnight after his "Yaaahh" moment became an overnight internet sensation. Edmund Muskie, in the 1972 primary season, committed a similar political gaffe in which he shed tears after winning the New Hampshire primary (though he claimed they were snowflakes shimmering in the morning light). Ironically, tears are all the rage in the post-2000 political world. Hillary Clinton wasn't considered sympathetic enough until her eyes misted over while answering a voter's question. But many pundits used this against her to question her sincerity. Then there's the sentimental carrying-on of House Republican leader, John Boehner, whose tear ducts seem on constant overdrive. (Source)
Or should we consider the public meeting of the former first lady of the federal Republic of Nigeria with the women, during the adoption of the Chibok girls, where she ended up shedding tears which many considered crocodile tears, which went viral as "diarisgodooo".
These examples show not only that the outward display of inner feelings influences how we're regarded by others, but also that these emotional displays are heavily dependent on cultural norms. To be regarded as a well-adapted member of the society or organisation, we need to adhere to those norms or risk condemnation or ridicule.
It wouldn't be hypothetical if I state that everyone experience happiness anger, fear and sadness at one point or the other. It's not a crime to express any of these emotional states. However, it is very expedient that one understands and knows when they occur.
1. HAPPINESS
A feeling of that make one smile even when you're alone. This state prompts one to share the feeling to anyone that cares to listen.
2. ANGER
This is a reaction of disapproval, disgust or dissatisfaction to unpleasant circumstances. It could trigger a feeling of pain in the stomach or chest, shaking of the body or fist and toughing of the muscles.
3. FEAR
This is a diluted feeling of an unforseen unpleasant situation in the nearest future (next minute). It's a pose of doubt as to when and how future events may occur.
4. SADNESS
This is a feeling of displeasure which manifests peculiar feelings. It could manifests in quietness, isolation, heaviness of the heart, depression, feeling disdain, down or feeling blue.
THE ABILITY TO ASSOCIATE RELEVANT FEELINGS TO A PARTICULAR EMOTIONS SHOWS THE LEVEL OF UNDERSTANDING ONE'S EMOTIONS! The skill for developing this learning tool cannot be acquired overnight but over time!
Now let's consider the EFFECTS of the above-mentioned groups of emotion on one's success.
Happiness as I said before is a feeling of being pleased or a show of pleasure. In a positive mood, a man is more likely to talk to a woman and to make self-disclosures, which are important in social/work relations. Studies have found, people in a good mood are more likely to try and collaborate rather than avoid conflict and compete when they are put in a positive mood. When in a good mood, people are more likely to display what psychologists call ‘pro-social behaviour’ – helping others and being generous with both time and money.
The above mentioned effect is a positive or pleasant emotion.
Now I'll consider the effects of unpleasant emotions which includes; #Anger, #Fear, and #sadness.
These are all feeling of hostility doubt and depression which are not healthy for success.
The holy books make us to understand that the devil takes delight in our sadness and tears. That's because all he wants from us is "failure".
Now let me tell you this, these unpleasant emotions are also vital when dancing your way to success! Surprised I guess?
In fact, anger and sadness are important part of life, and new research shows that experiencing and accepting such emotions are vital to our mental health. Attempting to suppress thoughts can backfire and even diminish our sense of contentment. “Acknowledging the complexity of life may be an especially fruitful path to psychological well-being,” says psychologist Jonathan M. Adler. Negative emotions also most likely aid in our survival. Bad feelings can be vital clues that a health issue, relationship or other important matter needs attention, Adler points out. The survival value of negative thoughts and emotions may help explain why suppressing them is so fruitless.
The basic thing to these unpleasant or negative emotions is to understand them and be able to manage them effectively! (Read full article here)
Managing One's Emotions vs. Managing Other's Emotions
It is crucial and paramount for one to be able to manage one's emotions and that of others. Management of emotions commences when they begin to manifest, failure to understand this could/would lead to poor management.
Happiness could make one engage in impulsive spending, exposure to organisational danger, and other positive or negative behaviour could possibly emanate from occasions of happiness.
A man once said that the first time he came in contact with huge sum of money which he used in buying his first car; he locked up himself in the house and used cane to flog it.
I also watched a humorous video of a young man who went to steal some money. He got home, opened the bag and saw a huge some of money. Due to his state of happiness he jumped and with the spring on his legs, sprung him to the height of the fan that never hesitated to cut off his head! Humorous right? Yeah!
There was a video which I also watched some time ago. A young man received a huge sum of money. He went inside his house, locked himself up in the bathroom, began to nod his head against the wall, and took a bundle of the money, and chew some pieces!
It sounds ridiculous right? But it happened and happens! It was all expressions of happiness. Such situations could be avoided if one interprets signs that signify happiness and adopt desirable ways to express it.
Those with high standard of emotional management are usually admired by others and present them in the environment as a charismatic leader!
When someone is regarded as humble in the midst of success, courageous in situation of fear, calm on occasion of anger and forgiveness in times of sadness would not imply absence of the respective emotional feeling but sign of successful management of emotions.
Let me divert a little bit by telling you this funny but true.
During an ongoing football match (EPL), a particular player scored a goal, due to his state of happiness, he did a sliding on the grass in celebration of the goal he scored, and that was the end! He was stretched out, as he had a twist of ankle while sliding on the grass to celebrate his goal.
That is what happens when you are unable to control or manage your emotions.
There was also a football story I read some time on BBC, it was Mozambique game, they scored a late minute goal that has seen them through to the finals. And it was just about a minute or two remaining.
The Mozambique goalkeeper and his team mates, due to their happiness that they've won, ran to the fans to celebrate with them. The next thing he saw was a flying object in the air that went straight into his own net! It was the ball! He looked up and realised the opponent had quickly kicked off, but his state of happiness he was unable to manage didn't allow him to stay on the goal line till the final whistle. That single expression of happiness (jubilation) cost him and his team a place out of the final. The opponent qualified!
That is what excitement can cause when you are unable to manage your emotions.
Everyone has the capacity to manage anger. Anyone who thinks that anger management is difficult may reflect on past life. There could be a situation where a statement triggered anger but same statement elicited smile in another occasion. For instance, you as a man can tell a lady "you are too black" she might take that offensive. Andvanother fellow girl might say the same thing and she'd just laugh and say "na you sabi".
So there's need to understand your emotions and of course develop a key interest in other's emotions too.
In conclusion, when it's a working environment, social emotions shouldn't be brought in.
As they would always say "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas".
For instance, a man in his car splashed a dirty water on you on your way to the office and drove off. "it's my colleagues that i would take the vexation upon!" No! If you couldn't chase the man to confront him on why he splashed the water on you, why then would you take it to a harmless environment who know nothing and had no share in the spoils? Therefore, managing your emotions solely lies on the subsequent actions that emanates.
Don't be too bossy to understand your subordinates' emotions, a key to success is managing those emotions in your working environment, not minding if the person is 10 levels below you!
Stay positive!
As someone once said "Intelligence would get you the job, but Emotion would make you stay on the job!"
Remember these...
REFERENCES
- "History of Emotions | Max Planck Institute for Human Development". Mpib-berlin.mpg.de. Retrieved 11 November 2013.
- Nwadei Ifeanyi (2015). "Management of Emotions". Accounting Journal : Institute of chartered accountants of Nigeria. Vol.48, No.2. Pg. No. 5-8
- Dror Green (2011). "Emotional Training, the art of creating a sense of a safe place in a changing world". Bulgaria: Books, Publishers and the Institute of Emotional Training
Emotional Intelligence (EQ)
10 tips to staying happy at work | monster.com
5 ways to get your unwanted emotions under control - Psychology today
Managing your emotions at work - career development
Theories of Emotions - Psychology. about.com
Negative Emotions are Key to well being
Understanding your emotions - kidshealth
Comments